By the High Ones collab
by Fey Halfkin
Summary: [Rushwater] A group story on how Recognition isn't always easy. Especially between Halfkin, the most wolfish elf of the tribe and Dawnmist, a magicuser. What are friends and her lifemate to do?


By the High Ones, Is It You?  
  
[pic]  
  
[pic]Authors: Asta, Marjaana, Fey and Piper.  
  
**telepathic** vs. "spoken"  
  
Hot, hot and sweaty everywhere. Fire was everywhere, turning things to black pieces of ash. Dawnmist ran around. She didn't know where she was. She only ran and ran. The hot redness turned to cold, peaceful darkness with the stars and the moons which shone up in the sky. Dawnmist was now walking. To where, she did not know. The savannah was wide, she couldn't see trees or rocks, only stars, the sky and the land which opened in front of her eyes like new born leaves. Suddenly she noticed two stars. They shaped and shaped until they were big eyes... Eyes of an elf. They were as brown as the bark of a tree.  
  
"Purehaven," she thought at first. "No, it couldn't be...who...?"  
  
The configurations of the face started to come clearer but a few moments before she could recognise the elf, she woke up. Wayfarer was under the tree, whining and howling to wake her up.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming..." Dawnmist said drowsily and climbed out of the bed.  
  
Purehaven turned over to his other side. Dawnmist had already put her pants on and when she noticed that Purehaven was watching her, she smiled at him.  
  
**Did I wake you up, Chet?** She sent and without her shirt she climbed back next to Purehaven.  
  
Purehaven wrapped his arms around Dawnmist's shoulders. **I was awake. You had some kind of nightmare, didn't you?**  
  
Dawnmist turned her head to Purehaven. **Yes, actually, I did.**  
  
Purehaven caressed Dawnmist's arm. **You turned around more than five times. And you were sweaty. It must have been quite a nightmare.**  
  
For some strange reason Dawnmist didn't want to talk about it. She rose up and put her skirt on. Then she grabbed her knife and whip. She left the bow on its place.  
  
**I'm sorry, I must go. I'll be back soon.** She sent and went away.  
  
Purehaven watched her climbing down from the big branch outside their den. Why was she like that? Was it that dream or something else? Or was it something that Purehaven had said?  
  
Dawnmist sat on a rock in her practise place. Wayfarer slept under a tree and sniffed a few times. The dream Dawnmist had had was still bothering her. As she was thinking about it the moons had already risen up and lit the ground and the forest. She snapped out of her thinking when Wayfarer came to her.  
  
"Time to go? Okay, let's go." She followed Wayfarer to the Holt. The night sky was bright and all the stars were well visible.  
  
Other elves were doing their routines. They saluted Dawnmist as she went by them and she saluted them. When she got back to her den, Purehaven was sitting on the branch, waiting for her.  
  
"Dawnmist," he started, but changed speaking to sending. **Did I upset you somehow, Whisp?**  
  
Dawnmist sat next to him and wrapped her other hand around Purehaven's shoulders. So did Purehaven.  
  
**No, you didn't. I just...didn't want to talk about that dream I had.** She caressed Purehaven's neck and cheek with her other hand. Purehaven turned his head to Dawnmist and looked into her eyes. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her up and inside the den with him.  
  
[pic]Halfkin was sitting on a tree trunk near the pond where Lionheart was playing his imaginary troll fights. He was carving a piece of wood with his knife. A few times he glanced at the cub when he shouted at the imaginary trolls, but his interest stayed with his carving. He was so concentrated in his work that he didn't notice Snowbird until she was a few hand lengths away from him.  
  
"What are you doing?" Snowbird asked, smiling as she sat next to Halfkin.  
  
He glanced at her and sighed. Today he wanted to be alone. He didn't know why, but he had never felt more like an elf than a wolf.  
  
Still he smiled at Snowbird and explained, "Well, to be honest..." he raised his shoulders. "...I don't know."  
  
Snowbird chuckled and watched Lionheart for a moment who was now wrestling on the ground with air. For an instance they sat quietly until Snowbird leaned her head a little to her right shoulder with some musing and asked, "I know that you like to be more with Preystinger and Flashfur and the other wolves...but don't you feel lonely sometimes?"  
  
Halfkin stopped carving and turned to Snowbird, who was still looking at Lionheart. Her black and white hair was tied into a braid, which made her look tall.  
  
"Why do you ask such a thing like that?"  
  
Now it was Snowbird's time to raise her shoulders. "I don't know. It just came into my mind, that's all."  
  
Halfkin watched Snowbird for a while then returned his attention to the carving again.  
  
"Well, Wolf, are you going to tell me what's eating you, or are you going to keep gnawing it by yourself?" Snowbird asked after a long silence.  
  
"Don't know. I feel...restless. Something is wrong inside and it..." Halfkin was at a loss for words. "I'm not sure if I want to know what it is. I wish I would get lost in the Wolfsong. Wander far away until this strange gnawing feeling would vanish..." he grumbled and growled, but Snowbird knew her friend so well that she could detect the desperation within him.  
  
"Then why don't you try to lose this feeling in the NOW?" she asked and caressed his shaggy hair.  
  
Halfkin turned his eyes at her, looking in her bright blue eyes a long moment, like he was searching for something.  
  
Then he closed his eyes. "Yes, maybe you are right. I feel so...strange. Like I would be losing the NOW. I am too...awake. Too...elf. Bring the wolf back in me, Bird. Please."  
  
Snowbird did not utter another word. She embraced her wild-hearted friend tightly and let the Now take possession of them both. Halfkin was ferocious, wild, his love tasting of desperation. Snowbird rode on the wave of this biting feeling, wondering even in the heights of the Bloodsong what was wrong with her friend.  
  
[pic]Dawnmist was sleeping next to Purehaven when she snapped out of her dreamworld. She had had that dream again: burning forest, cool savannah and two stars that shaped to elf's eyes.  
  
[pic]Hunting had been good and many in the wolfpack were filled by the bloody meat they'd brought down. This time only one elf had joined them since the other half of the pack was with their elf-bonds already, with the Hunting Party. Only those whose bonds weren't hunters or doing something else, leaving them to their own devices for awhile, were here at the moment. Halfkin was more wolf then elf though and preferred this to the Hunting Party way as he walked in the center of the eight-and-three wolves. Now that their stomachs felt warm they all headed back to the wolves' den. Preystinger, having gorged himself, was one of the stragglers while hyper Flashfur playfully nipped at him.  
  
Halfkin heard a scuffle behind a few feet. His head quickly turned compared to the rest of him and instinctively tested for scent. A thin screen of trees and plants blocked his view for a few seconds but at once he knew it was one of his tribemates. Dawnmist, in fact and she seemed surprised to have grabbed Flashfur. She hadn't noticed him yet as he silently walked up to her, relaxed now that he knew what had caused the noise. Flashfur bolted towards the front of the wolfpack as Dawnmist let go of her fur while Preystinger looked like he was laughing with his jaws open, tongue hanging out. Halfkin's amber eyes narrowed as he smiled, showing a hint of sharp teeth.  
  
[pic]That night Dawnmist had gone with Silverblade to the nearby pond and had a little chat. This wasn't so unusual, because sometimes Dawnmist had to talk to someone. She preferred Silverblade, but of course any other elf she knew was reliable to talk with. Dawnmist had told her soul sister about those dreams she had had. Silverblade had smiled and said that Dawnmist's imagination had gone wild. Dawnmist had smiled and admitted that maybe Silverblade was right. They had sat and talked about other things too, but finally Dawnmist had risen up and said that she should be going now. The morning was near and she wanted to go to sleep with Purehaven. After a big hug, Dawnmist left for the Holt. Silverblade wanted to stay a bit longer, to watch stars, she said.  
  
Dawnmist took the longer route to Holt. She had just deepened into her thoughts, when she heard some scratching from the near bushes. Automatically, she thought it was Wayfarer and smiled. The wind was coming from behind the bushes where the noise was coming from so Dawnmist didn't get any scent of the noisemaker. But as certain as she was that it was Wayfarer, she jumped into the bushes and grabbed the wolf.  
  
"Whoops..." Dawnmist whispered when her eyes met Flashfur´s.  
  
Puzzled, Dawnmist let go of Flashfur and watched how the wolf jogged back to other wolves. Suddenly she felt someone behind her. She jumped up and without turning around, she tackled the sneaker against a tree. The sneaker pushed her away, but they both fell to the ground.  
  
"Dawnmist." Dawnmist heard how the sneaker said her name. It was Halfkin. When she opened her eyes and stopped kicking, she notice that they were lying on the ground, Halfkin on top of her.  
  
"Halfkin! What on...?" Dawnmist's sentence was stopped when her and Halfkin´s eyes met.  
  
Her and Halfkin´s eyes met! By the High Ones, their eyes met!  
  
Dawnmist's body felt burning that big fire of lust came upon her mind, lust for Halfkin and his body, mind and soul. Now she remembered her dream and Silverblade´s words, 'Your imagination has just gone wild, Dawnmist. Nothing to worry.' Nothing to worry? Purehaven´s picture came up to Dawnmist's mind. What is happening to her? This couldn't be real; she was in love with Purehaven!  
  
Still watching Dawnmist's eyes, Halfkin felt something burning inside of him. He had never felt as much an elf as right now! Noticing how Dawnmist's lower lip had started to shiver, he climbed off her, trying to find some words to ask of Dawnmist. But when he got off her, Dawnmist jumped up and ran away. She knew what had happened, but she didn't want to find out what it would cause between her and Halfkin. They had Recognized.  
  
Purehaven turned over as Dawnmist crawled into their sleeping furs, she was shivering and seemed quite shaken. He sat up and looked at her curled in a ball amongst the warm furs. Touching her cheek softly, he leaned toward her and kissed her lightly.  
  
**Whisp, what is wrong?** He asked when she didn't move.  
  
She didn't answer, but seemed to shiver at the mention of her soul name. Purehaven became worried and softly turned her face toward hers. She looked up at him with pleading eyes that brimmed with tears.  
  
Purehaven tensed up, **Whisp, are you all right? What happened? Are you hurt?**  
  
She said nothing but let out a quiet moan and threw herself into his arms.  
  
**Oh, Chet!** She sobbed, as she reluctantly explained what had happened.  
  
Purehaven's eyes looked somewhat hurt as he held her closely and stroked her hair, trying to soothe her.  
  
**I love you, Whisp.** He told her as her sobbing turned softer and eventually ceased.  
  
**Oh, Chet, what will happen to us?**  
  
**Nothing will happen to us, I will love you always, no matter what!** He reassured her strongly.  
  
Later that night as Dawnmist slept, Purehaven sat next to her, wide awake. He looked down on her soft golden brown hair, her full lips, her chest rising with each breath she took, her small delicate hands that rested at her sides. He reached out and touched her palms, letting his fingers rest there for a moment. He felt his heart beating fast and his head swirling with emotions.  
  
He stood up quickly and climbed down, leaping down from the lower branches and landing with a soft thump. As he rode through the cool night, a light breeze whipped through his hair. He sat in the field where he first fell in love with Dawnmist. He remembered as she reached up and kindly bandaged his own injuries. He remembered looking into her deep green eyes and feeling his heart melt. The same heart that was now breaking. He lay back in the soft grass and closed his eyes.  
  
**Whisp, what have I now that I don't have you?** He thought to himself.  
  
He felt lost and alone without her. His feelings overwhelmed him and warm tears ran down his cheeks. He knew he was being foolish, that there was no denying Recognition and yet he felt so hopeless. Would Dawnmist still love him as she did before? Would her heart still be his? Then he thought of the cub he knew would be born of Dawnmist and Halfkin's Recognition. He thought how he and Dawnmist had always hoped so dearly for a cub of their own. Now she was to have a cub and he was to be alone. A pang of jealousy ran through his heart. As he lay in the cool grass thinking and doubting, a delicate hand reached down and touched his chest. He looked up, startled to see Dawnmist's bright green eyes.  
  
**Chet, what are you doing?** She asked as she sat next to him. **I woke up and you were gone, I was worried and followed your trail.**  
  
Purehaven looked at her and smiled the best he could. **Nothing, love, just thinking**  
  
She lay her head on his chest and asked, although she already knew the answer, "About what?"  
  
"Whisp, what's happening to us?" He pleaded into her eyes. Looking into those eyes he trusted so much, he couldn't help but pour out his heart to her. All his worries all his fears. She just held him in her arms and thought of her own fears and doubts.  
  
[pic]  
  
Dawnmist ran quickly out of sight before Halfkin regained his senses. How they whirled about now! Shaking his head, he sat down heavily, gaining support from the feel of the earth holding him up. Preystinger came over, concerned about his elf-friend, as did Flashfur. They came close and found a way to offer comfort to whatever distress he felt; Preystinger curled up as much as was comfortable and propped his head on Halfkin's lap, Flashfur sitting down and leaning against his right side.  
  
It helped Halfkin get his head out of the shocked daze it had been hammered with. The arm pressed to his side by the she-wolf's weight stretched a bit to run a hand through Preystinger's neck fur while the free hand crossed over and caressed Flashfur. Emotions strongly came and intertwined with so many others that he hardly knew how he felt just now.  
  
Frustrated, confused and angry he threw his head back and let loose a wolf- like howl, solo for only a few moments before his bonds joined in, and then the rest of the wolves who'd wandered back to their den. 'Why' it seemed to say into the sky. For while the wolves had no true understanding to Halfkin's reason for distress, he was their brother and seemed ill. If he rose his voice to the heavens, so would they for all were family. So they howled, causing confused excitement among the elves who had no idea at the moment the reason their bonds where so expressive all of a sudden.  
  
A short while later Halfkin made his way back to the den. He had no desire to face the Chieftess at the moment, or any other whom would most likely come to him to find the reason for the wolves behaviour. No, he had no such desire at all. And the small group of four-legged brothers and sisters knew it and kept their bond's from coming too close to their den this day.  
  
Halfkin recovered his senses after the night had faded into day. Recognition with Dawnmist - Whisp - of all elves! Around him the wolves stirred as he stood up and carefully made his way out before they all settled down again. Just beyond the opening of the cave they used as a den, Halfkin folded his arms across his chest as he looked towards the Holt where Dawnmist was. How his wolf blood urged him to fulfil Recognition but the growing elf blood in him reminded him of how shaken she was, and she had a lifemate. He knew they'd be confused and torn, so he didn't move from where he stood now.  
  
This recent awareness felt too unnatural to one used to living only from moment-to-moment. For a minute he resented having to wait to get this over with. However he didn't feel up to holding a grudge and he forcefully pushed it far down inside.  
  
"Don't take too long," he thought out silently to her. Already he noticed the ever so slight tremor in his hands as he checked back the WANTING. Like the wolves, he believed in mating for life, and Dawnmist was lifemated with Purehaven. His mind half wandered as he watched nature and wildlife well into the morning. It was only when he saw Dirk and Snowbird coming on foot towards him, waving, that he snapped out of his contemplation.  
  
Deciding that what was going on need not be shared, making it prick this hard problem like a thorn in the paw even more, he abruptly turned and went back inside. Behind him his two close friends were stunned in surprised amazement as their own wolf-bonds peered out with a protective glare.  
  
"Frostfur, what's the matter?" Snowbird asked from her wolf-friend who was now obviously protecting Halfkin. The large wolf just continued glaring.  
  
"This is ridiculous! Stalker, stop that immediately!" Dirk told her wolf. Stalker whined a bit, but did not move.  
  
"How odd..." Snowbird mused. "Halfkin must be really upset and the wolves sense that. They wouldn't act like this normally."  
  
"You're right about that!" Dirk said, feeling a bit insulted by her own wolf's sudden rebellion.  
  
Snowbird stared at the den. **Wolf?** she sent. **Wolf, you must talk to me, something is wrong, I can feel it.**  
  
Halfkin shuddered in the darkness. Now that the elf blood ran so much more stronger within him, the sending was suddenly so clear, so powerful - almost too pure. He felt a bit intimidated by it.  
  
**Go away, Bird. You cannot help me now. No one can.** He sent back as the demand in Snowbird's sending grew almost too strong to bear.  
  
Sudden mind silence that felt like dropping from a cliff after a long run. Emptiness. Halfkin didn't know if he felt relieved or sad. Then Snowbird's sending hit him in the head like a rock. **You have Recognized!**  
  
There was no denying it now. He had made the mistake of sending to Snowbird, not realising that she knew him so well that the changes within him would be clear in his sending, especially to someone so elf-blooded as Snowbird. He growled in desperation.  
  
**So what? You cannot help me out of it, so just leave me alone!** He sent again.  
  
**Out of it? Why would you want out of it? Unless it is somebody who... ** and then Snowbird caught the image of Dawnmist. It was a quick flash, but even when the image was gone, she could still smell her in Halfkin's memory. **Dawnmist,** she sent to him, getting a blur of emotions as answer.  
  
"Dirk, I think you should forget about the wolves. They will return to normal when Halfkin has dealt with his...problem. I cannot tell you yet what it is, but trust me, your wolf is not acting strangely without a good reason." Snowbird looked Dirk straight in the eye, talking calmly and quietly.  
  
"I understand the hint, Snowbird." Dirk grinned. "You are better at talking some sense into him, anyway. I'll go and find some hunting companions who do not glare at me." She glanced at Stalker who whined even more, trying to look apologetic.  
  
"Thanks, Dirk." Snowbird smiled and then turned her thoughts back to Halfkin. **Are you going to stay there sulking forever? Do I have to keep sending to you or will you come out and talk?**  
  
No answer. Snowbird could feel how Halfkin had put up mental walls around him. Whatever he was feeling was now locked up. Suddenly Snowbird also realised quite painfully that he had been right. She couldn't help him with this one. Only one person could. Snowbird turned around and headed to Dawnmist and Purehaven's den.  
  
**Dawnmist?** She sent a question up in the air.  
  
She got the answer from the rock where Dawnmist liked to sit often. She ran there and found her looking so vulnerable that it hurt her heart.  
  
**Dawnmist, are you all right?** she sent.  
  
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" she quickly said, trying to smile.  
  
Snowbird sighed. **I know what has happened. Halfkin did not want to tell me, but I could sense it from him. And his mind smells like you, Dawnmist.**  
  
Dawnmist put her head in between of her hands. **What can I do, Snowbird? I didn't choose this! I have always wanted a cub, but somehow I thought it would be Purehaven's, not Halfkin's.**  
  
Snowbird saw quick images and emotions in her sending. There was fear, confusion and the same strong Recognition lust as Halfkin had had. **We don't always get what we want, Dawnmist. I'm sure Purehaven will love you and the cub very much, no matter who the sire is.**  
  
Dawnmist nodded. **That's not the problem...I know he will.** she smiled vaguely.  
  
**But you are afraid of him, aren't you?** Snowbird asked.  
  
Dawnmist looked at her suddenly, her eyes wide and tear-filled. **Yes. I'm afraid of him. I get these feelings I don't understand and I know they come from him. I feel the urge to hunt, kill...mate... I feel like I would be drowning in a dream... I forget things...and if all this comes from him - what kind of an elf is he?**  
  
Snowbird sighed. **He is of the Hunt, Dawnmist. Stronger than any other of the tribe. His mind has many wolfish features, but that does not mean that he would not be able to care or love. His love is deep and strong and his bonding is loyal and true. He will never hurt you nor the cub.**  
  
Dawnmist looked a long time in Snowbird's eyes, seeing the truth in them. She nodded again. **But will I stay like this? Will I also become more wolf, in time?**  
  
Snowbird smiled. **No, you won't. This is just the Recognition working. You will be what you are afterwards although you will probably understand the wolfish side of elves a bit better than most.**  
  
A little smile flashed quickly on Dawnmist's face. She stood up, suddenly hugged Snowbird briefly and darted off. Snowbird noticed that she was heading off towards the wolf dens - and Halfkin. She smiled.  
  
[pic]  
  
The next night the wolves were acting normal again. And while many elves were curious as to the cause, the Now made it only an oddity that someone might remark on before turning to something else. Only Dirk really showed her displeasure with her wolf-bond, for two days before they were back on their normal routines. But such emotional turn-abouts were common between them, getting riled ever so slightly by something and ignoring each other for a bit and then just as quickly continuing on together. Some elves wondered if Dirk's competitive nature had rubbed off on Stalker as the two of them challenged even each other constantly.  
  
"Now why were you acting like that, Stalker?" she asked her wolf from his back. Both hands rested on his moving shoulder blades as she leaned forward.  
  
Stalker had already forgotten most of it but he tried to answer her anyway. **Cub**  
  
"That's not really helpful, you know," Dirk responded exasperated. It was at times like this that she wished she were more closely bonded to Stalker, the way Halfkin was with his. "I'll bet my mother's necklace it had something to do with him, too."  
  
Halfkin had acted really strange a little while ago. In fact, when she and Snowbird had gone down to see him he had got tense all of a sudden and disappeared into the wolves' den. Stalker and Frostfur growled at both of them as if they were humans! That last part stung a bit. But the thing Dirk remembered most was turning to Snowbird and seeing her watching the den's entrance with a suddenly paler shade. Snowbird suggested they leave him alone, which she agreed with, and then had dashed off to do something soon after.  
  
'What happened?!' That one question kept buzzing in her head like a winged insect behind her eyes. The answer to that would explain a lot. Asking would get her nowhere, and trying to subtly ask was not a skill she excelled in or cared for.  
  
'Think, Kail,' she told herself sternly. 'Stalker said it had something to do with a cub. Wolf cub? No wolf is pregnant yet, could it be elven? Still, no one's announced it, why wouldn't they? By the moons, this is giving me a headache.'  
  
Dirk rubbed her forehead with the palm of one hand for a moment before the tensing of Stalker's body beneath her caught her attention. Testing the air, the scent of prey reached her nose but it was too far off to really bother with. Sigh.  
  
At that moment Chieftess Wildstar sent to all the Hunting Party members. Immediately Dirk felt her blood rush in anticipation as Stalker turned and took to a swift trot. In the back of her mind the problem stewed all during the hunt, nearly distracting her enough that she almost got injured by the prey. And then it suddenly hit her. It had to be Recognition! 'But with whom...Snowbird?' That had to be it! For the third time in her two hundred odd turns of the season, Dirk was stunned enough that she forgot how to talk.  
  
As an answer to her question she saw Snowbird and Halfkin talking nearby, Snowbird hugging him. She grinned and walked to them.  
  
"Congratulations to you two!" she said and grinned even wider.  
  
Both Halfkin and Snowbird looked puzzled. "For what?" Snowbird asked.  
  
"Oh, no use of hiding it now, I know your little secret - you have Recognised!" Dirk stated, proud of her slyness.  
  
Their eyes grew wider and wider. Then they burst into laughter. They were quite unable to speak, so Snowbird sent to Dirk instead.  
  
**You silly, silly friend! You think that is what all this was about? I did not Recognize Wolf, DAWNMIST did!** Snowbird sent, her mind full of laughter and amusement.  
  
"Dawnmist?" Dirk was again almost speechless.  
  
"Yes, Dawnmist. We are going to have a cub." Halfkin confirmed.  
  
Snowbird wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and smiled. "A new cub."  
  
Dirk's expression melted into a warm smile, too. "A new cub to the Holt." 


End file.
